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AUSTRALIAN POLITICAL JOKES

More Political Humour

Australian Political Humour >>  Premier Wishes Let Sleeping Politicians Lie Heaven or Hell? More Political Humour

No one loves a good laugh more than an Aussie. Some people call these lawyer jokes, but we prefer to take a poke at the politicians. Note: VB is Victoria Bitter beer and polly is slang for politician.

A man walked into a bar, leading an crocodile on a leash. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve pollys here?"

"Sure do," said the bartender.

"Good," replied the man. "Give me a VB, and the croc will have the polly."

Overheard the other day ... "It was so cold last week that I saw several City Council Members with their hands in their own pockets."

Q: How many pollies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: How does a pollies sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other.

Q: Why do they bury pollies twelve feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are really good blokes.

A politician and two of his cronies, Bill and John, were fishing when their boat capsized. Bill and John started to panic because they'd seen sharks in the area.

"No worries, mates," said the politician and he started to swim towards the island to get help.

As he swam, John spotted the dorsal fins of two great white sharks heading straight toward the politician. Before he could yell a warning, the politician took hold of their fins and the sharks escorted him safely to shore.

When the politician returned with help, John asked him how he had managed such an amazing feat. The politician answered, "Professional courtesy."

Two politicians go out to lunch together. In the middle of lunch one of them jumps up and says, "Bugger. I forgot to lock the office safe before we left."

The other politician replies " No worries. We're both here."

 

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