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Jokes that make you go hmm – Page 1 Page 2
These are the jokes that make you go Hmm. They are the best jokes, guaranteed to make you laugh.
- Ever wonder how much deeper the oceans would be without sponges?
- If light travels faster than sound,
is this why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? - He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Why is it called rush hour when the traffic is moving the slowest?
- If love is blind, why is so much money spent on lingerie?
- If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
- If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
- If you only have one TV, why do they call it a TV set?
- Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
- A fine is a tax for doing something wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing so well. - Why is a man who invests all your money called a broker?
- If the person who plays a piano is called a pianist,
why isn’t the person who races cars called a racist? - If people from Poland are called Poles,
why don’t we call people from Holland Holes? - If tin whistles are made out of tin,
what do they make fog horns out of?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, shouldn’t . . . ?
electricians be delighted
musicians be denoted
models be deposed
tree surgeons be debarked
cowboys be deranged
dry cleaners be depressed
- If your parents never had children, it’s a good bet that you won’t either.
- Why do you go to sleep when your alarm clock is on, but wake up when it goes off ?
- Never be afraid of trying to do something new.
Remember it was amateurs that built the ark and professionals that built the Titanic. - How can a cemetery raise its price on a burial and blame it on the cost of living?
- Is it possible to buy a complete chess set in a pawn shop?
- Why do you believe it when someone says there are 3 billion stars, but have to touch the item with the wet paint sign?
- It’s said the early bird gets the worm, but I say it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese. (Think about it!)
- Speed is relative.
A bus goes twice as fast when you’re trying to catch it as it does when you’re riding in it.