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Jokes that make you go hmm  –  Page 1   Page 2

• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
• I never make mistakes. I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.
• I’m confused. No wait … maybe I’m not.
• Don’t take life so seriously. It isn’t permanent.
• Don’t argue with an idiot.
  People watching may not be able to tell the difference.
• Some people bring happiness every place they go.
  Others do it when they go.
• Always borrow things from a pessimist.
  He never expects to get them back.
• How is a shark like a spider?
  I’d scream the same if I touched one.
• Why aren’t table scraps made of wood?
• Why do we call it a “hot” water heater when it heats cold water?
• Why do we call it a “wood” heater when it doesn’t heat wood?
• Change is a part of life except when it involves a vending machine.

Did you know that in the English language …

longest word typed with only the left hand    longest word typed with your right hand    longest word typed on one row of the keyboard    only word that ends with the 2 letters “mt”    words that don’t rhyme with anything    only words which have all 5 vowels (aeiou) in order

… stewardesses … lollipop … typewriter … dreamt … month, orange, silver, purple … abstemious, facetious

• A bus station is where a bus stops and a train station is where the train stops.
  So the work station on my desk is where . . .
• If a man speaks in the forest, but there’s no woman there to hear him … is he still wrong?
• When composers die, do they decompose?
• There are no shortcuts in life unless you right click and find one.